Monday, July 7, 2008

One Year Anniversary

It has been an interesting year, full of some of the biggest ups and downs I've ever experienced in my life--and I think I'm still trying to get my feet underneath me. A year ago I married a woman who is truly loving, sensitive, honest, forgiving, and wants, truth be told, little in return from me (though I insist we need an Infiniti G37S coupe to complete our lives).

Last year we stood in a church unable to fight back the 105 degree muggy Nebraska summer, and as I fought to stay vertical, partly ecstatic and partly weak from having just moved and the 6 months of wedding planning (please, people, just elope), my heart was pulled in two directions--forward toward my fiancee, and back to my family sitting in the pews thinking about my grandmother; she was in a bad accident 1 mile from the church the day before, trying to make it to rehearsal. I won't go on about that, seeing her in the ICU at the hospital and the continuing rehabilitation, because in my mind this is a year full of fantastic possibilities, no, full of fantastic definites.

We're FINALLY getting settled in this summer and it feels so good. Grad school puts so much on hold during the academic year--and it shouldn't, but it does--taking a large mental and finally physical toll on you. But the house is looking good, the garden very good, and I'm lucky to be here with this person--even though I'm not the easiest man to shack up with. There's a lot you learn about yourself and the world when you're married, and sometimes the lessons are hard, sometimes blissful, but always worthwhile.

The above picture is certainly my favorite, not because of how we look, but because of how she looks. It's the picture we sent out on our thank you notes, and so I'll send my own: Jackie, thanks for finding me in Ohio only 3 months before I moved west, sticking out the rocky road of a two year long-distance relationship, moving out here to Nebraska and acting on faith, and for being my best friend (and for having the same taste in art, for liking my writing, for trying your hardest to memorize names of plants in the garden like you learned counting in French...).

16 comments:

Nancy J. Bond said...

Congratulations on your first anniversary. From the sound of it:

...There's a lot you learn about yourself and the world when you're married, and sometimes the lessons are hard, sometimes blissful, but always worthwhile...

you have many wonderful years ahead of you. :)

Frances, said...

Whew, after that last post, I was about in tears, now I am in tears but in a totally different way. You are both very lucky. May you have many happy years together. After 34 years of wedded bliss, don't think for a minute it is all bliss, but it averages out, the most important thing we could tell young 'uns like you all is to be very good listeners. You seem to have that one down already.

Amanda B. said...

I.Loved.This.Post!!!!!! :):) I check out your blog pretty regularly, but I don't comment much because of my inadequacies when it comes to gardening (you've seen my house....). Which, BTW- your garden is so unbelievable beautiful! I can't tell you how happy I was to be there for your wedding and to stand beside you both and I am grateful to have you in my life alongside Jackie. I think you are both pretty awesome people! That picture of you both is also a favorite of mine as well.

Aaron and I are coming up on 10 years next month and I have certainly learned that marriage isn't always a picnic (and the fact that you two have made it through the 5 million stresses you have faced this year is incredible!) but it isn't supposed to be- its about having a partner to get through those ups and downs with. Happy Anniversary and may you have 100 more! :) Love ya both!

Blackswamp_Girl said...
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Blackswamp_Girl said...

Awww... :) Congratulations to you both! Happy Anniversary!

Blackswamp_Girl said...
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ourfriendben said...

Congratulations, Benjamin! That photo says it all. Jackie is so beautiful, and your body language towards each other is a poem in itself. When I was a newlywed, our secretary at work introduced me to her new husband as a fellow just-married, and he blurted out, "I had no idea marriage was so much work! It's like having a second job!" Truer words were never spoken. But it's also the best job in the world (except possibly parenting). I hope you two are blessed with every good thing!

Nancy said...

Congratulations to both of you. That is indeed a lovely and loving picture of the two of you.

Victoria said...

What a gorgeous picture. Congratulations to you both

susan harris said...

Wonderful post! And what's your prediction about whether Jackie becomes a gardener?

Benjamin Vogt said...

So many kind bloggers out there....

Nancy--Thankya!
Frances--No, I'm not a great listener actually, but I'm listening to what you have to say nonetheless!
Mandy--Well thanks for all those compliments. If you have more, please don't hesitate to send them along. (and don't be intimidated to leave notes, please!)
Kim--I'd like a present.
Ellen--Oh, that's so true! Yikes.
Nancy--Thank you! Merci!
Victoria--Danke!
Susan--Prediction? Highly unlikely--only if I die suddenly and she has no choice but to do it. Alas.

Layanee said...

Ben: That was a beautiful post in tribute to your marriage and your wife. It is a glorious, adoring and serene picture. Congratulations on your first year...it will NOT be the hardest but the cumulative years spent getting to know your wife and yourself will be worth the frustrations of getting to know your wife and yourself! Best, L Please come swim in the Pool! (I started with a one foot deep by six foot round kiddie pool if it makes you feel better).

Gail said...

Congratulations on your first year.
As I lift my coffee cup to you and Jackie...I wish you both continued joy and delight in each other...and many laughs over the years. Love, liking and laughter are essential, but I think you know that!

Fantastic photo...

Gail

WiseAcre said...

Congratulations and may all your years be filled with Love.

30 years here :) April Fools Day, 1978.


I married Miss Right. I didn't know at the time her first name was Always. If I die before her I hope she remarries. I want at least one man to be sorry I'm dead.

Benjamin Vogt said...

WA--HA! Well said. Have you been developing that line, or saving it for such an occasion?

Benjamin Vogt said...

Layanee--Ok, I'll come visit. You pay the airfare.
Gail--Thank you! I lift my bottle of mango strawberry juice to you.