Mascot

Some days I wish I could walk around in one of those smiling, happy-faced mascot suits; that way no one would have to know what kind of day I'm really having and won't be affected negatively by it (I don't hide my emotions very well).

Other benefits include:

--Don't have to shower
--Don't have to dress nice
--Can flick people off at will
--Can make snide comments and faces
--Will stay warm and dry
--Better able to absorb impacts
--Though not the intent, people will avoid you at all costs

Ohhhh yeah.

(Seriously, don't you wonder about those people, who they are, what they're doing under that get up?)