Thursday, April 17, 2008


Some days I wish I could walk around in one of those smiling, happy-faced mascot suits; that way no one would have to know what kind of day I'm really having and won't be affected negatively by it (I don't hide my emotions very well).

Other benefits include:

--Don't have to shower
--Don't have to dress nice
--Can flick people off at will
--Can make snide comments and faces
--Will stay warm and dry
--Better able to absorb impacts
--Though not the intent, people will avoid you at all costs

Ohhhh yeah.

(Seriously, don't you wonder about those people, who they are, what they're doing under that get up?)


Anonymous said...

Oh, God, Benjamin! This reminds me of a friend who was invited to the (first) inaugural ball for President Clinton--IF she would go in a "Ranger Rick" costume! (If memory serves, she declined. At leats, I hope so.) All I can think of when I see a costumed character marching around, usually waving pathetically to passersby in the freezing cold or scorching heat, is how quickly I would fall over and die in those circumstances. And I also think that when I see waitresses, cashiers, or anybody else who's required to do their job standing up...

Les said...

I have always wanted to be a toll booth operator, or a bridge tender -- for a day.

garden girl said...

never really wondered until your post. Now I'm wondering how many people do it because it's fun and they love it, and how many do it because it's the only job they could get.

Benjamin Vogt said...

OFB--I always enjoy the "cluck for bucks" costumed employees standing outside those paycheck advances stores in July. How awful! Plus, it always seems to be on a busy corner. How awful!
Les--Toll booth? I think that'd be too many irate drivers for me in one day....
GG--Or both? Isn't my site just lovely, that I bring these important issues of the day to the forefront? :)