Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Mr. Mows All the Time is Mowing Brown Grass

I can't believe it. Got home and he's mowing his lawn. Keep in mind, grass doesn't turn green or start growing for another month. Maybe dormant lawn is like ghost lawn, and it fades in and out of some other dimension or time continuum. Beam me up, Toro.

I just wish the amount of time he spent grooming his lawn, fertilizing it with chemicals, watering on a windy August afternoon, and blowing the clippings back on to the lawn (air pollution galore anyone?)... I just wish all that energy was put into planting a few more trees, in the very least. Heck, I'd help.

Maybe my neighbors have found my blog, maybe not, but hey, Mr. Mows All the Time, if you're reading this, come ring my doorbell. I'll go to the nursery with you, help you pick the right tree, and plant it. I'll even drive. And buy you a snow cone on the way home. Any flavor but grape.

A landscape without trees is a body without a soul. (Substitute "tree" with anything you like -- shrubs, coneflowers, bluebirds, poetry.)

18 comments:

Elephant's Eye said...

perhaps his wife sends him out to play in the garden? Or does he just love his ride-on mower?
Ecological gardening has a post up, about polyculture lawns she found in medieval French paintings.

Benjamin Vogt said...

I was just reading her piece--it was very interesting....

Sandy Longhorn said...

I once knew a couple who vacuumed their driveway after mowing (with a shop-vac). Seriously misguided, in my opinion.

What have you got against grape sno-cones?

Benjamin Vogt said...

Vacuumer, Sandy? Wow. Next step would be using chopsticks. As for grape, it is nasty. Grape pop, grape icees, grape gum. Bleh. Even the smell is bad.

Sandy Longhorn said...

Note to self: do not offer B.V. anything artificially grape flavored should we ever meet in person.

Thanks for the chopstick image...still laughing.

Randy Emmitt said...

Benjamin,
We must be neighbors as that guy lives next door to us. Small world isn't it. I knew a lady that would spend hours with scissors trimming the edge of her sidewalk and driveway.

Susan in the Pink Hat said...

I've heard mowers out too? What gives?

Benjamin Vogt said...

Sandy--I will take wine, though.
Randy--Are we neighbors? Can you see me in my window naked right now? Sorry. I don't scissor my grass, but I've been known to scissor grasshoppers. Clouds of them.
Susan--The other day a guy was powerwashing his golf cart. We live at least a mile or two from the nearest one. Whatever.

greggo said...

Check this out: Earl Pitts and Stupid people

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OumOayYHrGw&feature=player_detailpage

#9 Ask your wife if the grass is green and ready to mow when your colored blind. lol

compost in my shoe said...

I love the idea of a ghost lawn. Caught in a place where it cannot be alive but can't be composted!

Corner Gardener Sue said...

My husband has been known to vacuum leaves and then putting them on my compost pile. I think he has realized it's just as easy to use a rake.

I recently did a post about the silver maple tree in our front yard. Lincoln Landscaping is coming over next week to inspect the tree for safety, and then prune it so it doesn't grow into the house. The arborist said there may be borers in the tree, but I forgot what kind. I told him I don't use pesticides, but he said what they would use would just go into the roots of the tree. Well, sir, those roots go into my flower beds. Larry wants to use the pesticide if it means saving the tree. I will want to do further research and get a second opinion. The extension office said they'd come out for $35.00 and see what they could see without going up into the tree. That doesn't make sense to me. Do you know anyone who would be good for a second opinion? We've already signed a paper for them to trim the tree, but I told him we were going to get another estimate if it needs to come down, and another opinion if they want to use a pesticide. I am not a happy camper.

Corner Gardener Sue said...

I should have said, "put" them on my compost pile.

Benjamin Vogt said...

Sue, I once had someone come out from the UNL arboretum and they didn't charge me to look at an american elm (yes I said that right) that's on my lot that the development graders almost destroyed digging up roots. I think I've saved it. Anyway, I'm sorry I don't know anyone. Sometimes I feel like saying with trees "anything to save them," but sometimes not, esp regarding chemicals. And is a silver maple worth it, even if it is big and beautiful?

Ilona said...

Mowing already? noooooooooooo.

wiseacre said...

Only one thing comes to mind. WTH is wrong with that guy?

Does he mow to drown out the voices in his head or is he listening to them?

Benjamin Vogt said...

I think he is listening to voices and trying to drown them out. Maybe the blower quiets one voice, but another voice says use the mower. I just hope those half dozen bags of lawn clippings out front won't be going to the landfill (read an article today showing that 70% of the local landfill is organic material!).

Julie Pishny said...

It's so mysterious this business of men and their lawns. A garden filled with ground cover, grasses and flowers with no lawn to mow would be heavenly to me. But, I live with a man who loves to mow his lawn. At least he has the good sense to wait until it is a tall lush green before the first mowing.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog and a sampling of your poetry.

The photos of your garden reflect the tenacity of plants. First year is bleak, but that third year is plants gone wild. I love it.

Thank you for visiting my blog which lead me to yours and a good evening read while the hubby watches basketball.

Benjamin Vogt said...

Thanks for popping over, Julie. I would love to rip up my lawn, I hate mowing. Of couse, I'd have to replace the lawn with costlier things. As for basketball, it's a boring tourney this year--but I'd rather be in the garden anyway, or writing.