Sunday, August 30, 2009

I Know I'm a Whiney Jerk But....

If you've had sod for 1 month, should you be fertilizing it already? In August? I can feel the synthetic, polluted runoff making its way to my tap then collecting in my organs. All this just from watching my new neighbor.

A quick google search seems to suggest that sod was fertilized quite heavily at the farm (duh), and a summer (early or late) installation won't need anything until spring--maybe a winterizer at most. That lawn just can't be too green, so why not use plutonium on it? Oh, because the dog--the only one who uses the lawn BARK BARK BARK PLOP PLOP PLOP--might get sick.

In non grouchy news, I have 20 essay submissions ready to be sent out this week. I'd like to double that number so maybe 1 place will accept me this year (my odds always seem much longer than other writers I know), but it's just so darned exhausting... and that's not what this fall is about.

I need to go move some ironweed now.

9 comments:

Frances said...

Yes do move some ironwood, and no, don't fertilize the sod. It doesn't need it, as you already know. Good luck with the essays. I don't know how you can handle those odds, iron will determination, with plenty of whining to get you through it all? I mean that is the nicest possible way. :-)
Frances

Frances said...

in, not is.

Victoria said...

In the UK, we call sod turf. Sod is a widely used term of abuse (short for sodomite, unfortunately), meaning that someone is obnoxious or annoying. It's fairly mild, as terms of abuse go. You might say: "That idiot is fertilising his sodding turf" or perhaps: "The stupid sod doesn't know any better." If I were you, I would probably want to tell my neighbour to sod off.

Layanee said...

Oh, I like it, the 'Sod Off' term which your neighbor could well confuse with a compliment. Perhaps sending him info on organics, anonymously, every week would work.

Cheer up, this might be THE week.

WiseAcre said...

Why should the dog be the only one to use the lawn? You should use it too and let the neighbor know what you think.

Benjamin Vogt said...

Frances--Whining is maybe somethign I should do less off, but it's just so darned theraputic. I moved the eupatorium 10" last night--I need help.
Victoria--OH yes, I knew that. Sod sod sod. I had a dream last night they were building their lab a swimming pool and house out back.
Layanee--Can't tell you how many times I've thought of stuffing mailboxes with infow, and websites, on just how bad lawns are, how much gas lawnmowers pollute, et cetera. Is it that people don't know, don't care, I mean, what is it REALLY?
WA--You made me just burst out laughing! You're always good for a hard chuckle. I am going next door right now for my morning constitutional.

Blackswamp_Girl said...

Amen, brother Benjamin!!!

And for the record, I've thought about stuffing mailboxes with information like that. Only in my case, what usually drives me to that kind of "I'm really going to do it this time!" thought is seeing sprinklers go off at 4pm on a sunny, 90 degree afternoon. ARRRRRRGH!

Amanda B. said...

you certainly have some "interesting" neighbors!!! (of course, so do your neighbors.... ;) ha ha)

Benjamin Vogt said...

Kim--OMG yes I hate seeing sprinklers go off at 4pm! Hottest part of the day. And here, it's always windy, so it never even hits the grass.
Mandy--Yes, I'm not a good neighbor. I'm a curmudgeon who dislike shaving neighbors, especially wen they throw tennis balls against my fence as I walk through the garden.