An interesting project from the author of Other People's Love Letters.
"Other People's Rejection Letters will feature reproductions of all kinds of rejection letters. Whether typed form letters or handwritten in a fit of rage, whether sent by text message, email, or scrawled in crayon, any kind of rejection is fair game: You didn't get the job or the loan or the membership; you're not the right fit for our dentistry school; you're my son but I never want to see you again; your restaurant failed its health inspection; your parole has been denied; we had a good time together but you cheated on me so this is goodbye."
And in good cheer I give you what woke me up in the middle of the night and made me scramble for a pencil. Seriously. Ready?
R emember to schedule that duck transplant for your back
E veryone hates you
J ust kidding
E veryone hates you but your cat
C ould be worse
T achinid flies could lay eggs in you like in monarchs
I ncomplete satisfaction over and over but you fake happiness so no one worries
O (see I)
N aughty thoughts get you through the day (it worked in high school)
E ven when you're wearing that silly hat?
J ust ignore him.
E at pie instead.
C offee cake.
T ake a hike!
I n a howling snowstorm.
O! how you torment me!
N ow come back here. I didn't mean any of it.
Benjamin: Hope you don't mind me extending the reach of your delightful post. I created a link from my recent post to this one.
BTW: I took the bait and will be conjuring something up for your REJECTION prompt.
R esolve to write SOMETHING every day.
E dit later, Shitty First Drafts are the road to good writing (thanks to Anne Lamott)
J ot outlines keep me on track (thanks to Jack Hart - writing coach)
E mbellish my adjectives when the time is right; now it's got some energy
C orrect all the spelling and punk-choo-a-shun
T oo many word! Damn, where to cut? It's all brilliant!\
I nching toward something coherent. There's a Pulitzer waiting.
O h my, this might be the best thing I've ever written.
"N ice try, but we just ran a story like that last issue."
Gee, I wish I was a witty as Susan and Wiseacre but instead I'll just say-go to bed thinking happy thoughts:)
R eally, I can quit whenever I want.
E veryone has forgotten about that by now.
J ust get over yourself.
E nd it on a good note.
C atch your employees doing something right.
T oday's not good for me.
I t's not you - it's me.
O lder, is not necessarily wiser.
N ever trust a smiling dog.
Ha, you guys are all charming to the last. Now go find some really bad rejections from your personal lives and send them to the anthology. One time I called a girl I really liked, and being a stupid guy, imagined her kindness towards me in school was something much larger. So one I cal her, feigning to know what number charcoal pencil would be write for a drawing I was working on (we were in art class together), and somehow bumbled into, and psilling out, "would you like to go out sometime." "Uh, um, no, I sorta already have a boyfriend."
Darn it... I don't have any good rejection letters to share, and I'm all poem-ed out right now.
(Not having any rejection letters is NOT because I have never been rejected. It's because a near-campus bar used to have regular "Rejection Letter Night" gatherings where you got a free beer for every rejection letter you brought in. lol.)
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