Sunday, December 16, 2007

Snow Globe Fogging Up? Sucks For You

Looking at my site stats lots of people keep linking here because, apparently, their inflatable outdoor snow globes are fogging up. Must be because of my posts on freezing fog and the 10 things I don't like that my neighbors do. Did I just give that away?

Dear Snow Globe Folks,
I'm terribly sorry to hear that your sin ugly wastes of money are fogging up. Now, passersby won't be able to witness truly enchanting scenes of the vanishing arctic and polar bears wrapping presents (wouldn't a carnivorous hunter with bloody seal bits stuck in its teeth be more natural?). And who will now see the sign pointing the way to the north pole? Tis very unfortunate. Let me offer a solution that works quite well: fully deflate the objet de crap, put it back in the box, return it to that demon place Wal Mart, and say you've come to your senses, you've seen the light, and it wasn't in this annoying buzzing / blowing contraption that drowned out the peace of a silent and tender snowfall on a wondrous winter's eve.

The Deep Middle (lover of a true and pure holiday season)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

LOL, you should tell us how your really feel! I don't like them either!